There once was a boy, whose named happened to be Roy, though he was decidedly not from Nantucket. In a smelly rage, he one day hiked up his kilt and, against the wishes of his great-gran, Meredith, went to see that old wizard about whom everyone seemed very generally uncomfortable. The hut on the lonesome hill was dank with a treasonous perfume, but Roy was made of the patriotic stuff. The wizard started out of bed, his single eye wild to behold the boy. "Why have you come, boy?" the old man asked. Roy responded, "I have brought you the newest episode of the FUAR podcast. It's quite good, as they have attempted to review Troll 2." The old man smiled and beckoned with the half a finger he had left. "Well, what are you waiting for then? Put it on!"